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July 22, 2015
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A psychosomatic condition, where the individual suffers from excess emotion, usually anxiety, but including depression and hallucinations, stemming from a traumatic set of past circumstances that are transcribed to a felt experience in the body.

Historically, hysteria has been associated with women and thought to be due to some physical or psychological tension revolving sex and/or the sexual organs. It is the first mental disorder attributable to women, with accounts going as far back as 2000 B.C. in Egypt. What was the cure for this condition, you ask? In Victorian days, doctors were developing wrist and hand problems from relieving too many women's suffering by masturbating them in their offices. And the invention of the first steam-powered vibrator was the solution to the doctors' suffering.

I can only imagine the conversations that took place back then:

(In some esteemed British medical center, doctors convene to discuss what to do about the recent outbreak of female hysteria.)
Doctor 1: "Gentlemen, we've an interesting phenomenon on our hands - our gentle females have been overrun with nerves and wild emotions."
Doctor 2: "It's elementary my dear fellow, the Greeks have an account of this too - our women simply have too much tension in their female parts, and we must relieve them of that tension, for the good of Britain!"
Doctor 3: "But how can it be achieved?"
Doctor 2: "We simply massage them, internally, and in the comforting, professional environment of the doctor's office."
Doctor 3: "Do you mean, we must bring them to orgasm in order to relieve their suffering? Surely, their husbands should be the ones to..."
Doctor 2: "It is our duty, as medical professionals, to relieve our fellow man of suffering however we can. Doing so, will no doubt be of great benefit to the patient and their family, and we must regard this as a strict medical procedure, gentlemen."
Chorus: "Huzzah!"

(A husband and wife dine together at their home, enjoying one of the few respites from the wife's antics.)
Lord Tyndall: "My darling wife, I simply cannot continue dealing with your emotional hysterics! Perhaps you should visit Dr. Clarkson - Sir Richardson's wife has had amazing results with him. Let me speak to him and get you an appointment, darling."
Lady Tyndall: "Oh yes, dear, I really should calm my nerves."

(At the doctor's office, the wife .)
Doctor Clarkson: "Good afternoon, Lady Tyndall, and how are you feeling today?"
Lady Tyndall: "Well, I've been having a rather nasty case of nerves, in fact, I simply seem to be driving everyone in the household mad, and my husband, the good Sir Tyndall, thought it best that I take some professional help for it."
Doctor Clarkson: "Ah, not to worry, my Lady, we've seen these cases before, and I have just the thing..."

(Back at the Tyndall's home, there is a newfound sense of peace over the dinner table.)
Lord Tyndall: "And how was your visit to Dr. Clarkson earlier?"
Lady Tyndall: "Quite lovely - I feel relieved and full of vitality."
Lord Tyndall: "Capital, capital!"

See also, Ways to Get Out of Depression
by Bagheera 3 years ago
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